I was lying in my bed. The events of the day came flashing back into my mind.
"Do you actually mean--"
"Yes! I want us to be more than this. I want you to be my girl!"
"...i thought you'd never ask..." i answered.
She smiled and reached for my hand. Her eyes were smiling. I was waiting for the words but it never came.
"So now, oficially you are my girl."
That's it. She never told me "I Love You".. Deep inside i was longing for the words. But then again, i knew too that deep inside I love her and if she's not ready yet to reveal her true feelings, I'm more than willing to wait. In time i know she'll finally say the words.
But to when is that time coming... i don't know.
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Lying here with you
Listening to the rain
Smiling just to see
The smile upon your face
And this are the moments
I thank God that I'm alive
And this are the moments
I've been waiting all my life
I found all I waited for
And I could not ask for more..
"I love that song..." out of nowhere i told Jess. We were at the cafeteria sipping coffee.
"And why is that? I dunno you've become an emo or what.."she told me laughingly.
I pouted.
"It reminds me so much of Allison..."
She looked at me. Seriously she asked.
"So you two a couple now?"
I hesitated a moment. Thinking if it would be wise to tell her. But then she's my bestfriend. What the hell..
"Yeah.. she asked me if i wanna be her girl yesterday.."
jess sigh.
"isn't it too early? It's been only a month..."
"yeah.. but i knew i love her. I couldn't just let this moment passed."
"But what about her?"
I looked away. Hiding my disappointment.
"well, she never told me she love me. But does it matter? She asked me if I could be her girl. That means she love me right?"
"Look at me Liz..." she commanded softly.
I met her eyes. Full of concern.
"I don't wanna sound so rude or nosy..she's our boss. I don't have anything against her. It's just that love and like are two different things. What if in the end it turned out to be a phase?"
I sigh.
"Would it matter? I love her. I don't want to let this moment pass. If she doesn't love me, my love will see us through."
"But--"
"Stop it Jess. You're my friend. I understand your concern, but please...just support me on this.."
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"Hey baby, are you busy?" Allie drop by my cubicle one day. It's been a week. Nothing's change though. She's still the charmer that i knew her to be. Our relationship remains a secret in our office, save for Jess.
I smiled after hearing her voice. Just the sound of it can complete my day.
"A little. So many reports to be done. Why?"
I saw a flash of excitement in her eyes.
"I wonder if you want to go out tonight. Dinner?"
Pure joy crept inside my heart.
"Of course hon. I'd love to..."
"Great! I want you to meet someone..."
My excitement came to a halt.
"Meet someone? She's gonna introduce me to her family? Dad?"
"Someone?" i asked her nervously. She saw my reaction and she laughed softly.
"Relax. I'm not gonna introduce you to my family yet. At least nof yet."
I drew a sigh of relief.
"Well who would it be?"
"An old friend from States..." she answered.
"Oh.."
"She's Llianna. Cassie's sister..."
I felt something stirred inside my being when i heard that.
"Cassie's sister."
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We went to an Italian Restaurant somewhere in makati. It's a cozy place and obviously frequented by rich people. Allie reserved a seat for us earlier that day. When we reach our able, a waiter approached us and filled our glasses with wine. My eyes roamed around the room. Only few tables were occupied. And mostly with couples. It's a quiet and solemn place, ideal for dates and dinners. Soft music was playing on the background making the atmosphere so romantic.
"So do you like it?" after a while Allie asked me. My eyes rested on her and just like the forst time I met her, she never failed to mesmerized me. I smiled.
"This is perfect. I've never been to this kind of restaurant before."
She reached for my hand on top of the table.
"Well you should feel relaxed and comfortable from now on. Coz this won't be the first time. My woman deserves the best." she told me and it almost made me swoon. I blushed.
"You don't have to spend---"
"Hush. Don't even think of it. I'll give you anything and everything..."
"All i want is your love."
She smiled and groped my hand tighter. She just stared at me but didn't say a word.
"Com'on please say it. Just this once say that you love me."
Minutes passed by, and i felt my disappointment growing when she didn't say it. I was about to tell her I love her when someone embraced her from behind. She let go of my immediately and stood up.
"Llianna! It's so good to see you!" she greeted the newcomer with a hug.
She's pretty as well. Brunette hair that reached the middle of her back. tan complexion and beautiful face. Slim and sexy. I can't help but feel a little insecurity. Did Cassie looks the same?
"So so sweetheart how have you been huh?" the woman asked Allie. She's holding her hands. It feels like I don't exist in the room.
"I'm fine Lian. It's been quite a while huh? how long will you be staying?"
I felt like an idiot. I sigh.
"I'll be staying until after your birthday. I won't missed it in the world!"
"Great! And before I forgot I want you to meet someone here..." Allie said and turned towards me. I faked a smile.
"Lian this is Liz here. My girlfriend."
I offered my hands for a shake. And for a minute I swore I saw something that flashed upon Lians pretty face. She took my hand and squizzed it tight I almost winced. She smiled at me, a fake one as well.
"So this is the woman who took my twin sister's place."
I heard an explosion somewhere inside my head.
"Twin sister? Cassie's twin sister?"
I felt the tension during our dinner. Not only was Lian throwing daggers at me and Allie seems to be oblivious of it, but she's getting all of my girlfriend's attention. I sigh.
"Fucking bitch!" my mind screams.
"So what's your work Liz?" out of nowhere Lian asked me.
She's staring at me, mocking me. I returned her stare.
"I'm a software engineer. At Allie's company."
She laughed and i hated it. Allie looked at me. Concern's in her eyes.
"She's one of the best in our company. A total asset." Allie said. Obviously backing me up.
"Oh well. I never thought you'd settle for someone like her Allie." Lian said and I almost strangle her right then and there.
allie gave her a hard stare.
"Liz is special. More than anyone else I've met."
Lian's facial expression hardened. She looked at me first before returning her gaze to Allie's.
"More than Cassie is that it?"
I saw Allie's confusion. I know she's trying to lighten her answer. But i know that no matter what she said, it would still be Cassie. She's struggling for words.
"Cassie's not me. So you don't have to compare me with her. In the first place I will never take her place on Allie's life. Allie loved her, I'm not taking that away from her. But i'm alive and life must go on. I respect whatever past Allie and your sister have, but please, respect me and what we have today."
Lian laughed. Bitter and mocking laugh.
"You're nothing compared to Cassie. So don't even think that I'll compare you to her.."
"Stop it Lian!" Allie cutted in.
I felt anger building inside me.
"How dare this woman?"
I stood up. I took a deep breath and tried to control my feelings.
"Baby..." Allie tried to say something.
"Maybe i'm nothing compared to her. But guess what... I'm alive and she's not so sue your ass bitch! I won't let you or anyone else insult me. I'm outta here!"
I marched out of the restaurant. Oblivious of the stares the other diners throw at me. I don't even care if Allie followed me or not. I'm angry with her as well. She didn't even try to protect me. Damn her!
I already reached the road when Allie's car stopped infront of me. She got out and approached me.
"Let's talk. Get in the car." she ordered me. But instead of following her, i continued walking. I didn't even throw a glance at her. Then i felt her firm grip on my arm.
"I said we will talk!"
I pulled my arm free of her grasp. I faced her. She's angry.
"What's there to talk about huh?! what?!" i almost shouted at her.
"Lian's my guest, you should have ignored her!"
"Ignore her? She's insulting me for heaven's sake and you're telling that I should have just ignore her?"
She gripped her hair and sigh.
"she didn't mean it you know..."
"She didn't? Who are you kidding here Allie? can't you even see the way she looks at me? Damn it she hates me for being your girlfriend!"
Her face softens. Trying to calm me.
"She's just scrutinizing but she doesn't hate you."
"Give me a break! Cassie's dead---"
"Stop it! Don't you dare drag her into this!" Allie suddenly shouted at me. I took a step back. I saw anger in her eyes.
"You don't love me don't you..." tears started falling down on my cheeks. "You can't even say it. It's still Cassie."
I saw remorsed crept on her face and she tried to reach for me, but i shook my head.
"I'm sorry I didn't mean to shout at you.."
I wiped at my cheeks. It's clear now.
"It's alright. At least now everything's clear."
"Just give me some time babe. You're special to me and I mean it.."
"No. I can't go through this. I can't stay with someone who's heart belongs to someone else. I love you Allie, and for a while I thought it would be enough. But now I realized it's not. And you didn't even told me Lian's her twin sister. How does it feel to see her? To look at the replica of the one person you've loved so much..."
"Please don't say this...you got it all wrong.." Allie's crying now.
I took another stepped back.
"What's wrong Allie? Don't tell me coz in the first place nothing in this damn relationship's right. Let me be... I'd rather stay alone and lose you, than have you and know that i'm sharing your love with a... dead person." with that i turned and walked away.
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Subject: Stop The Tears (Sequel to the story It's Her) 
