the Ex

Subject: the Ex Wed 28 Oct 2009, 2:18 pm

Now I have an idea why people make such big deals about exes. You know, stuff like, getting over the ex. Dealing with the ex. Being friends with the ex. Being the ex.

I am an ex.

I know that it's stupid -- and silly -- to sound as if my whole life revolved around being somebody's ex-boyfriend. But I can't help it ... that title packs a pretty strong punch. I am now and official member of the "love-and-lost" club. And while it's a title I don't exactly want, I have to admit that it does say something about me.

I am an ex. I once loved someone who loved me back. But he didn't want to stay ... so I had to let him go.

I cried. A lot. I spent countless nights wondering what went wrong, muffling my sobs with my pillows so my parents wouldn't suspect that something's amiss. I'd reminisce about our happy times, then break down when I realize that he's no longer mine. I analyzed every single detail of our breakup. I wrote long e-mails to my closest friends. I talked endlessly about my situation. I spent my nights in tearful telephone conversations and my days in daydreams where we'd end up in each other's arms again.

I told myself that it was all for the better. That this is what's best for the both of us. That this is God's plan. My friends offered similar advice, none of which I hadn't heard before: "It's a sign that you're not meant for each other," "When God closes a door, He opens a window," "Someone better is coming for you," "There are so many other fish in the sea," etc..

But it didn't work. Because deep down inside of me, I still believed that he is the one, the only one. And I couldn't understand how this was all for the better when everyday seemed more torturous than the last--not being able to be with him the way I wanted to be, seeing him so unaffected, and dealing with my broken-and-smashed heart and my bruised ego.

I tried to immerse myself in other activities to forget about him. I went out a lot and tire myself to sleep. I filled my schedule with T.V. and movie marathons, and Music Maniax. It worked for a while but then there were times when my mind was cleared of the busy thoughts, I tried to occupy it with those times that I would think of him. His memory would sneak up to me on tiptoes, catching me in my most vulnerable moments.

I tried to show the world that I am OK.That I am over him. That it was fine just being friends. I didn't go around with a big "X" on my forehead, nor did I go around with puffy eyes. I tried to live my life, as I knew it before I met him. People thought that I was doing great.

They heard me laugh and they saw me smile; I seemed happy, they said; and I told myself that I am. But in the solace of my room, where I tried to organize my thoughts and sort out my feelings, I had to admit to myself that I am not truly happy. Because I am still yearning for someone, and my heart still ached for something that could not be.

It’s been 11 months now since we broke up.. Surprisingly, things have gotten better. I've changed. Somewhere along the way, I realized that he's not the only one out there for me. I also realized that there were valid, powerful reasons why we split up.. And I've become stronger, older, and wiser.

I've loved and lost. I've cried tears for the things that were and that could have been. I've wrestled with intense feelings of love and hate, of jealousy, of frustration. I've simultaneously taken down and brought up my pride. I've tried to rebuild my world without the person whom it used to revolve around. I've tried to save myself from the depths of depression and self-pity, and when I couldn't do that, I turned to God for help.

I don't know exactly what I gained, or how much I lost. Maybe someday it will all be clear to me ... then again, maybe not.

Subject: Re: the Ex Wed 28 Oct 2009, 2:23 pm

hindi ako ex pero... ouch.

Guest

so sad. i feel for you. T__T

Subject: Re: the Ex Wed 28 Oct 2009, 3:24 pm

You don't always have to be the poor little old ex.

You can be THE ex.

You know, that one ex that current girlfriends dread and hate.
The-one-who-got-away kind of former partner.
The ex who will be able to make them wonder of what-ifs and I-could-have-beens...
and that particular ex that girlfriends would forever be jealous of.

It's more fun being that ex.

Subject: Re: the Ex Thu 29 Oct 2009, 5:06 am

all ex's undergo the 'poor little old ex' stage

eventually SHOULD be THE ex

pag na-stuck.. ayun. sad naman yun

Subject: Re: the Ex Wed 23 Dec 2009, 5:11 am

ow..sorry to hear..
my heart was broken for 8 months when my first gf broke up with me..
cheer up, u will find one better than your ex...
i've been there..and now im so happy with my present and hopefully my future

Subject: Re: the Ex Wed 23 Dec 2009, 5:32 am

ANYWAY, I AM EXPERIENCING THE SAME SITUATION BUT STILL AM COPING AND TRYING TO BUILD WALLS BETWEEN ME AND MY EX. GOT SOME ADVICES FROM LESBIT FRIENDS THEN POOF!! MEDYO OK NA RIN AKO. MAHALIN ANG SARILI HIGIT SA LAHAT. AFTER 10 MONTHS SINCE WE BROKE UP, I'M STRONGER NOW. BUT BELIEVE ME, IT FEELS LIKE HELL THOSE TIMES I REMINISCE THINGS ABOUT HER AND US. HINDI NAKATULONG. SO, YUN LANG.. I FEEL FOR YOU R2.

Subject: Re: the Ex Wed 23 Dec 2009, 7:25 am

EXES...
are GREAT MENTORS of pains and heartaches
and
WORST STUDENTS of this thing called LOVE...

heehehe sounds bitter anoh ba yanh. :)

Papansin Post Count : 37 Current Location : Philippines

Take a second out to think about this: in your life you search and search for the right person for you. Every time you break up with someone you get one step closer to that person. You should look at moving on as getting closer to meeting the one.

I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

Take Care of uR seLf ...

Subject: Re: the Ex Wed 23 Dec 2009, 8:29 am

jabbawockeez wrote:: EXES...
are GREAT MENTORS of pains and heartaches
and
WORST STUDENTS of this thing called LOVE...

heehehe sounds bitter anoh ba yanh. :)

BITTER KA NGA????

Subject: Re: the Ex Wed 23 Dec 2009, 9:11 am

@lance hehehe kaw ha, pinapansin moh post ko =P