"RG..." I remembered exactly how those words came out while my pride has compelled me from facing the beautiful person I once loved. We ended without me looking at her for a moment in our last 5 minutes. But still, I could picture out her vulnerability while she tried to hold my hand for the last time.
How could I possibly forgive someone who has brought me into this so-called anomalous world and left me all alone for another? She was my first and whom I thought was my last.
Our love was undeniably perfect. Well, at least, I know it was. And I could still remember how her confession went.
I sat alone in the middle of the court, humbled and exhausted. We lost the game, again. The spectators had gone leaving their mess to an old janitor. I watched the janitor as he obligingly did his duty and found myself looking all dumbfounded. Why am I watching the janitor anyway?
So, I started thinking on why we lost for the second time after enduring painful practices and avoiding the cheering squad. Yes, the cheering squad. Who wouldn't love them?
Then, Jay-R, who was my boyfriend at that time, came running towards me. He gave hug of comfort while I awkwardly accepted it. I told him that I needed time to think. He understood and left.
Now, back to the cheering squad. Jane, the oh-so-perfect Jane was someone who never fails to make my heart skip a beat after a few stealing glances. There was something about her that got me questioning, in regards to my sexual orientation, that is. But I thought it was aberrant for a girl to like a girl.
Suddenly, I felt a ball on my head, from a hard thrust. Ouch!
And I shouted in agony, "Ano ba?! Potang in...."
"ina?"
And there was Jane. WAAAH! I tried hiding the excitement that was about to erupt.
"ina ba?" she asked cheekily. Shet!
Potang ina, ang ganda mo. I thought to myself. I don't know how to respond in that very moment and I know I was tense. So I quickly rose up and straightened myself.
"Pasa mo saken yung bola!" she demanded. Wow, scary. I passed the ball and turned away to look for an exit sign.
Then I felt the ball on my head again.
"Ano ba problema mo?!" there you have it Jane. Straight in the face.
And she was in silence like a tamed lioness. Darn it, ang cute niya. Her innocence shone while she gave the look of apology. And I found myself melting. Forgiven ka na nga.
I gave her a one long stare, kunyari galet and turned away for the second time.
And then as if an all mighty has answered my hidden desire, she softly said, "Ikaw." Softly na yon ha, pero narinig ko pa rin.
I faced her, shakily. I could feel that there was something more than her throwing balls at me, which I know was her forte 'cause my head badly hurts. And then, yung moment.
I found myself looking at her straight in the eye and so was she. And I felt my whole body turning red and my back ear heating up. When my back ear heats up, it only means two things; it's either I am about to cry or super kilig. I felt so hot that I envisioned myself in steams in that very minute.
She came nearer as if each steps took hours and the same time, her eyes glued on mine. Then we were standing face to face, with her looking more gorgeous in a closer view.
She then raised out her hand and was about to touch my face. I held my breath and pulled myself away. Baka naman malaman niya na nang-iinit ako.
"May dumi ka sa mukha R.." she said and smiled. Dang, lecheng dumi to.
I gave a crooked smile in response, quickly took the towel hanged around my neck and wiped my face. Jane started giggling. Ang weird naman nito. Then, she placed her hand in mine which fitted perfectly and was pulling me back to the court. "Laro tayo!" she offered in enthusiasm.
And we played. Ang sarap niya kalaro kahit na parang siyang tanga mag basketball. While playing, she then made a remark on me. "Hindi ka masyado nagsasalita R."
Parang close na eh, "R" pa ang tawag.
Then I smiled, again. Mysterious effect ba ?
And then we end the game and bid goodbye. She left first while I positioned myself beside the old janitor who was probably taking a break from his work. I quenched my thirst from a half-filled bottle of 100 plus Jane has forgotten or maybe purposely forgotten to take. A plastic bottle won't hurt a pocket anyway. I felt like I was indirectly kissing her and felt weird and good about such imagination.
After dragging up the last few drops, I made a shot with the bottle to a dustbin just as meter away from me. And it went in.
"PASOK!" I shouted as I hit the air.
"May sulat..." the janitor retorted. "yung likod." Ako ba kausap nito ni lolo?
And I asked, "Ano po lolo ?"
"Ning, may sulat yung likod ng bote." He said as if he take pride for having a good eye sight at his age. He looked like he was about 60 years old.
"Ganon po ba?" I ran to the dustbin and took out the bottle I threw in. And to my greatest surprise, the words on the back of the bottle were something beyond my expectation.
In small letters written from a black marker, it says,
"I LIKE YOU RG. XOXO-JANE" I reread those exact words again.
For RG, from Jane. For RG, from Jane. FOR RG, FROM JANE. XOXO.
I felt a song started playing my head. I was literally floating with a smile reaching both my ears.
"I love you lolo! Salamat!" I shouted at the old janitor as I rushed out of the stadium. I was running for my life. Jane was my life.
As I ran, it didn't occur to me on what was wrong and on why I feel something special for a girl. All I know was that I am in love. A love I know I am comfortable with.
I entered the locker room and she was there, smiling.
"I thought you won't come." she said as she smile with teary eyes.
"I've been wanting to from the very moment I saw you." I cried as I grasped for air. The hallway sure was a long way to run.
And we left the institution, hand in hand.
But unfortunately, my story was not a fairy tale.
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Subject: Confession of a Cheerleader 
