it feels a little like that

dear you,

i’d like you to know what it feels like to have my words stripped away:

its like i’m standing in the middle of the street and you’ve peeled off my skin and it’s pouring rain and i’m steaming but i’m still not warm. it’s like you’ve cut my legs off at the knees and i’m hobbled and lurching haphazardly after you but i can’t catch you because you now have your limbs and mine. it feels a little like that.

and it’s like having my soul put on display for everyone to see and having you step all over it. it’s like you’re rubbing your toe down and cracking the spine of my dreams, bleeding me out because you thought it’d look pretty to nail me to the wall. it’s like you’re laughing and stuffing my stray thoughts in your pockets like fall leaves, not caring for the bits that crack and flutter away. it feels a little like that.

and it’s like i’m braving the ocean and you’re drilling holes in the bottom of my boat. it’s like i’m swimming towards the light on the other shore and you’re tying my feet together and dragging me down. it’s like you’ve swallowed my heart and are claiming indigestion. it’s like you’ve tried my lungs on for size but still don’t realize one size doesn’t fit all. it’s like you think taking a hammer to what i hold most dear is some sort of joke.

it feels a little like that and you know what? i’m not laughing.

--seth