L e s b i t

Subject: Her Tue 15 Nov 2011, 11:25 am

Her
November 15, 2011

I would be honest as I always am. The thought of the future was never in my mind when you first said hi to me last May. After all, I was a bit cynical for my taste or any person for that matter.

We were dancing forward and backward, like children. We were denying that any hint of attraction would be impossible; that the words love and infatuation were of the same meaning. We believed that all fairy tales are lost. We were in our comfort zone and we did not want to leave; for any sign of vulnerability means we forget ourselves.

But then, would it be so hard to believe that when I first saw you, I already know? I already knew you were the one, the person I want to be with. Would it be so melodramatic to say that when our eyes met, the whole world faded away and it felt my heart burst? The world spun and I was not in it.

You were nervous, but so was I. I could not take my eyes off you. I pulled out all the courage and charm that is in me, and tried to swoon you over for I would regret it if I did not try. I am so happy that I did.

This is me, being vulnerable. How can I explain it? This is how I fall in love. I fall fast and I fall hard. When I fall, and I commit myself to you, that means I am willing to be there without you asking for me. And if you feel that every little thing is not going your way, I will hold your hand and pull you close to me. I will make you feel safe. I will love you like no one has ever loved before and like I have never loved anyone before. I promise.

So, you, who has effortlessly melted my heart and made it whole, again, do not worry. Do not be scared. All that I am is already yours. I would not be here if I was not so sure of what I am feeling. I would not have said those words if I did not mean it.

So here I am, contemplating of our future together. I am taking little steps and far wider strides. This is the person I am and the person I will be.

Here I am. What are you waiting for? What are we waiting for?

Let's start forever.

Subject: Re: Her Thu 17 Nov 2011, 8:20 am

well said......

Subject: Re: Her Sat 19 Nov 2011, 8:13 am

ang cheesy.. hehehehe..

san b like button/.. mailike nga itey..

Subject: The Next Chapter Wed 21 Dec 2011, 12:40 pm

It has been three months since we first saw each other for the first time, and yet, the feeling of nervousness around you never wavers. And I think it is a good thing, that we feel the same way as if the day we first met, don’t you think?

I love how crazy we are, despite being sober. I love that we are naturally high with each other. We laugh like children, to our hearts’ content. We go and do impulsive things just because we thought of it. Yet, when the craziness dwindles, and the moment of seriousness calms us down, we are at peace. Everything in the world seems to be how it should be. The comfort of silence and just staring into your eyes makes my heart overflow, yet nurtures it completely.

We’re crazy and beautiful with each other.

I appreciate your honesty. And even though sometimes such honesty results to a feeling of jealousy and sadness, you never fail to turn my frown into smiles. I love that you talk about your past, and how it has molded you into who you are now. It makes me love you more, if that is even possible.

I love that we talk about the future no matter how uncertain it is. I believe that love should be about risks. Love is being scared of losing each other. Love is taking that leap. I will take that leap with you; you do not need to ask.

Here we are just like how Fate has brought us to this point and to this moment.
I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I am so lucky to have met you, to be loved by you and to love you.
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Subject: Goodbye for awhile. Sun 04 Mar 2012, 12:36 pm

Goodbye For Awhile
03.04.12

Dear my Life,

First of all, I have never loved someone such as I have loved you. You see, all of my past relationships, and even those dating, I have always questioned my feelings. I have always asked myself if this is love. Would it be so hard to imagine that when I first saw you, I just knew? Should it not be that way? Love is simple. It is just about taking risks without any questions or without any doubts. Take the leap; take the plunge. You know that person you have always dreamed of is there waiting to catch you.

You must forgive me for leaving like this. You see, that same love, the greatest one at that, also causes the greatest and constant amount pain. There is this constant yearning for you and for your love. The moment I wake up my eyes, it is you that I want to see. And during at night, it is your eyes that I want to see last. See? I am crazily and insanely in love with you.

It is also this love that I want to claim you as mine. It is not only a want, but a need to shout to the world that you are my girlfriend. No more time constraints. No more unnecessary persons meddling. No more that constant question of who I am in your life. We can make our own little world. Would it not be so amazing? The mere dream is simply unfathomable.

What you need, as you say, is time. You tell me, I am rushing into things. You tell me, I am pressuring you to make a decision. But for me, you are always making a decision every single day for the last five months, may be even before that.

Is it so wrong to want for more when you have experienced the most blissful days of your life?

So, my dear, the time you need I am giving to you without me by your side. For you have to make this decision on your own. Truthfully, until you have learned to break free from those walls you hide behind with, you will never be free. We will never be free to love each other.

Do not worry. You have my word. I will not be dating anybody else until those six months are over. You would not believe how scared I am to have made this decision. You might hate me. You might forget me. There is a high chance that I am going to lose you. But like I said, I am taking that risk.

When you have finally decided it is me, who you cannot live without, you know where and how to find me. If by any chance, you decided it is not me, I would rather request for you not to tell the rejection. Whatever happens, I do hope and sincerely you will be happy. I hope that the light of the sun will always reach your face, and I hope that those tears will never fall.

My Kyla, I love you. Always.

All or Nothing at All.

P.S.
To those who know my number, I would appreciate it if you do not call or text me.
To those who know where I live, I would appreciate it if there are no surprise visits. I will have you stopped or escorted by the guard off the premises. I know I am a bit sadistic, but at the same time, I highly value my privacy and space.
To my chat buddies here, I will or may not be back.
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