“How come you’re not joining?” Erica asked with a frown.
I averted my attention to the view outside the window. I can’t stand those kind eyes, so deep and caring.
“I don’t feel like joining the competition this year,” I answered honestly.
“Why?”
“Because I can’t compete with you…” my mind screams.
“Errr… I can’t think of anything to write about.”
She laughs softly.
“Com’on! You placed 2nd last year. How come you can’t think of anything good to write about?” she probed gently.
“That was last year. It’s totally different now.”
“What’s the difference then? One year has passed. I’m sure so many new and exciting things have happened that you can use as your topic.”
I shrugged my shoulder.
“Nothing much.” I answered shortly.
“Are you always like this?”
I turned my attention towards her.
“What?”
She smiled.
“You’re so reserved. So tight. It seems like you’re so scared to show what’s inside of you.”
It made me smirk.
“I never thought you can read people’s personality huh…”
She stared at me. It’s a different kind of stare. Something that can hold your eyes for seconds and yet make you feel it’s forever.
“You know why?”
“Why?”
“Because I am looking through you now, not just looking at you.”
I was puzzled. She laughed when she saw me frown.
“I can see so much of you from just sitting here and staring at you. I can see yet I can’t explain it.”
I turned my attention back towards the window.
“How can you say such thing? You never knew me at all,” I silently said.
What she did next almost shook my existence. She groped my hand that’s resting on the table. She held it in her hands while speaking.
“I’ve known you Jamie all this time. Believe me. I’ve known you. It’s you who didn’t know me.”
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Jamie!!!” I was startled from my musings.
“W-what?”
Gates laughed.
“You’re thinking of her again don’t you?” he asked with a wicked smile.
“Oh geez! Give me a break Gates!” I answered defensively.
“Ever since you learned about her preference you became fidgety.”
“Really huh?”
“Yes. And I mean REALLY, REALLY YES! “
I laughed at his exaggerated expression.
“You’re so gay!” I said with a laugh.
“And you’re so fake!” he countered.
I rolled my eyes.
“She’s gay. Why don’t you just tell her you like her?”
“Easier said than done!”
“What? You should be act on it quickly girl. This is your shot!” he persuaded.
“She’s in love with someone else! Didn’t you hear her?” The memory made my heart weep.
“And so? Everything’s subject to change. Even the heart.” Gates said while patting my shoulder.
“What you’re saying is too impossible. If that’s the case, I would have change the way my heart beats for her.”
I heard him sigh.
“You’ve been in love with her for two long years. If you can’t tell her, then why don’t you just let go?”
“I d-don’t know. There’s something in her that attracts my attention so much.”
“Who’s she that attracts your attention?”
My heart almost freeze that very instant.
“Oh my!!” I swear in my mind.
“Erica dear! What are you doing here?” Gates exclaimed. He was surprised as well.
She seated herself between me and Gates. She held my hand. She used to do that more often now. She smiled at me.
“Well, I was on my way to the library when I saw the two of you here. Though that I might say hi.”
I laughed nervously.
“Hello then…”
She laughs at the awkwardness of how I said it.
“So, you’re talking of a SHE right? Aren’t you gonna share it with me?” she said while staring at me. Damn those eyes. They seem to penetrate my very soul. I turned my head away.
“Err. It’s the n-new Biology professor. She seems so good. Right Gates?”
“Aaahh. Yeah! She’s cool!” Gates agreed.
Erica frowned.
“Hmmm I see. Yeah I think she’s good. Really intelligent.”
I don’t know if I’m just hallucinating or what, but when I looked at her, I saw something that crossed her eyes. Was it sadness? But just as soon as I saw it, it immediately vanished. She smiled again.
“So I better get going now. The girls are waiting for me. See you around!” she squeezed my hand before she left.
I sigh in relief.
“That was close!” Gates cry out.
I stared at her walking figure.
“I’m falling more and more in love with her…” I said in a small voice.
__________________________________________________________________________________
I can’t sleep! Damn. I checked the time. It’s a quarter after 2 am. It’s been more than three weeks since Erica and I established our so called closeness and new found friendship. It is heaven and hell in one. Whenever I’m with her I can’t help but fall all over again. Everything with her feels like magic. At the same time it’s pure hell. The mere fact that I’m just a friend and the thought of her being in love with someone else tore through my very core.
I need to get this out of my system. I get out of bed and went to my small study table. I pull out a fresh set of stationery papers from my drawer and pick my favorite pen. I close my eyes for a second and let memories flow from my mind. It’s her face that I see. I opened my eyes and my hand started working.
“How can I possibly tell you how I feel? Your voice, your laugh, your smile… everything about you makes me fall more and more in love with you. Your image keeps me awake every night. This is madness. As much as I wanted to get you out of my life, you’re like a drug that I’m craving for every day…”
“You look like hell Jamie. Are you ok?” John asked me. He elbowed Gates who’s busy with his lunch. Gates stared at me then shook his head.
“Hon, she’s ok yah know. That’s love problem 101,” he said with a laugh.
John elbowed Gates again. A little harder this time.
“Ouch! That hurts!” Gates glared at his boyfriend.
“You’re so mean!” John countered.
“What?! That’s the truth!”
“You don’t have to emphasize it you know!”
“Oh com---“
“Guys, guys! Stop it!” I said to stop them. They glared at each other.
“Johnny I’m ok. I just didn’t sleep well last night.”
“You’re thinking of her again don’t you?” Gates said again.
I shrugged my shoulder then started eating even if I don’t have any appetite.
The least that I wanted to do now is to answer questions. John sighs and just focused on his food. We were halfway through our meal when Erica and her girlfriends entered the canteen. Only this time, there’s a new girl with them and she’s clinging to my Erica.
“Whew. Who was that? Another pretty face huh!” I heard John commented.
Gates glared at John.
“Oh com’on! Don’t give me that look Hon. You know I have my eyes on you ever since!” John said defensively.
“Good!”
John laughed.
My eyes are on them. They made their way to the counter and ordered their food. I saw the girl put her arms around Erica’s waist. She whispered something on her ear that made her laugh. It seems like they’ve known each other for such a long time now. It’s tearing me apart. Maybe she’s the girl that she’s talking about. I was about to turn my gaze when Erica saw us. She waved her hand. It’s too awkward to pretend that I didn’t see her when she caught me staring at them. I returned the wave, and then I bowed my head.
John tapped my shoulder.
“Hey… Don’t let her see you like this.” He said with a caring smile.
“I’m ok. Maybe we should go now. Are you done?”
John and Gates shared knowing glances then nod their heads. We pick up our things and are about to leave when Erica and her group approach us.
“Hey. You done guys?” Kim asked.
“Yes dear. We’re about to leave. You can use our table.” Gates answered quickly.
“You ok Jamie? You look pale.” Jessica asked with some concern in her voice.
I gave her a small smile.
“I’m ok Jes.”
“You don’t look ok Jamie. You should see the school doctor. I’ll come with you.” Erica said which caught my attention. She’s frowning.
“I’m ok Erica. I’m just a little tired I guess.” I said then I gave her a reassuring smile.
“You s-s…”
“Yes she is dear.” John cut her off. “No need to worry.”
“Hmm ok. By the way I want you to meet someone here.” She said with sudden excitement. She held the girl’s arm.
“This is Macey my bestfriend. She’s gonna study here from now on. Macey, these are John and Gates and this is Jamie.”
I smiled. Macey extended here hands to John and Gates.
“So you’re Jamie… at last.” She said before embracing me. It took me by surprise. “I’m looking forward to seeing you every day.”
“S-same here.” I mumbled.
I saw Erica’s expression. There’s something in her face. Jealousy? I shrug it off my mind. She pulled Macey to her side.
“We really need to go girls… We’re running late on our next subject.” John said. He put his arms around me.
“Bye Jamie.” Macey said with a knowing smile.
“Bye Macey. Nice meeting you.” I replied. Then I turned to Erica. “B-bye Erica.” She’s frowning again.
“Bye.”
Home 
Subject: SANDALWOOD AND BUBBLEGUM (Chapter 2) 
